It's No Picnic!

It’s No Picnic! – Press Briefings

The following are the collected press releases/public statements made by the players and the umpire produced Headlines for the Frost City Herald during the Disaster Simulation Tryout Game on Saturday 17 May 1997.

Mayor‘s Speech on Local Radio

During this dry weather it is especially important that we all act responsibly to avoid starting fires and quickly report any we come across. The forest rangers have already put out eight today thanks to prompt reporting on the part of you, the public.

Keep up the good work and keep watching for fires

NOTE: This is a copy of the Mayor’s speaking notes as no transcript of the actual speech is available. There were a few minor differences.

Frost City Herald

Mayor Says No to Nuclear Power – Thousands of Jobs Threatened!

Frost City Press Briefing

Mayor Safeguards Tourist Trade

It is untrue to say that the refusal of planning permission for the nuclear power station has jeapordised jobs in Frost County.

Our main industry is tourism and it is without doubt that people would not come to Frost County to spend their hard earned money if there was a nuclear power station. People remember Three Mile Island & don’t wish to take their holidays next to a nuke plant – although it might help their tan!

So the Mayor’s brave decision has been made in order to safeguard jobs & protect the natural environment that we all know & the tourists love.

Frost City Herald

Mayor Denies that Job-losses will be his fault

– Places Faith In Fly-by-night Tourists
– Compares Frost With 3-Mile Island

Threat To Re-Election Campaign Funds

Frost National Park Public Information


to Frost National Park. We hope your visit is enjoyable & Safe.

To aid your safety please observe the following:

  • Be careful when lighting & using fires, stoves, matches, glass bottles and cigarettes.
  • If a fire occurs alert the authorities by dialing 911.
  • In a fire alert please move to tracks & roads and use emergency phones to report fires
  • The authorities may close the park to protect your safety.

Frost City Herald

Mayor Quoted As “Not Giving A Toss About Local Businesses” (The Chemical Plant)

Mayor Panicking – Why Didn’t He Act Sooner?

Is The Fire Service “Incapable”? 
Will The National Guard Be Called In?
State Department Quoted as “We Have No Plans For Federal Funding”

Frost Rangers Call For “Stay-Out” Order For Park

Was The Mayor Asked For Help Earlier?

Mayoral Address

It has now become clear that the fires sweeping through Frost County are beyond the capability of local Fire Departments & Forest Rangers. It is therefore necessary for me to call for assistance from the State Governor.

Frost City Herald

Mayor Says That Everybody Else is Incompetent

How Will He Fund The National Guard?

Frost City Press Briefing

Mayor Declares State of Emergency

There is no question of the competency of our brave firement & foresters in the development of the fires.

This is a natural disaster on an unprecedented scale and the fire is bigger than our most herculean efforts can deal with.

It was in recognition of this that we called for assistance early in order to limit the amount of damage to the absolute minimum.

Frost City Herald

Mayor’s PR Officer Advises Him to Resign

Mayor Considers Pulling Out And Relocating To Dulwich

Chief Forest Ranger Says “I Wouldn’t Vote For The Mayor” (Has he voted illegally before?)

Frost City Press Briefing

Mayor Fights Forest Fire

The Mayor participated in the fighting of the Forest Fire near the Cameron Chemical Works

Frost City Herald

Emergency ‘Copters to Land in City Centre

Authorities Say “Don’t Panic!”

Mayor Rumored to Have Fallen Out With State Govt.

Interstate Will Be Closed

That’s all. I’ve resisted the temptation to write the story this time as none of the players would believe it. I was the Mayor’s PR Officer, Dr Spin.

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